Being a Christian in today's world is very hard. But do not let that scare you, anything worthwhile is worth working for. Being a Christian can be hard but it can also be fun. That is my objective, through my own stories, stories of my friends and a lot of plagiarism (Just kidding, only a little plagiarism.), I am going to show that you can be a Christian and still have fun!

the most wasted of all days is one without
laughter - e e cummings

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

  Funny movie quotes, The Sequel!

"Fragelee! It must be Italian." Posted by Hello

In my last post I had such a good response about funny movie quotes, I decided to do it one more time, "The Sequel." I actually had a good time doing it. It really did bring back some fond memories. So here are some more funny movie quotes I found and some that people left as a comment in my last post. Some of these quotes I can not believe I didn't put on my first post. Like I said before, my memory is fading fast. So here we go for the second time for the last time. (Sorry, a little Spaceball humor.) So here we go.

1. "It's good to be the king." History of the World Part I
2. "What in the wild wild world of sports is going on here?" Blazing Saddles
3. "Fragelee! It must be Italian." A Christmas Story
4. "Here's a quarter. Why don't you go somewhere and have a rat nibble that thing off your face." Uncle Buck
5. "Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here." Back to the Future
6. "Oh man, hey no hurling on the shell dude, OK? I just waxed it." Finding Nemo
7. "If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter." Grease
8. "Hey, no force fields." The incredible
9. "Please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up." The Wedding Singer
10. "Fat guy in a little coat. Fat guy in a little coat." Tommy Boy
11. "Not my gumdrop buttons." Shrek
12. "Those aren't pillows." Planes, Trains and Automobiles
13. "How was school. - Worst day of my life, what do you think." Napoleon Dynamite
14. "You seem somewhat familiar, have I threatened you before?" Pirates of the Caribbean
15. "Major Payne took out the bad guy with extreme prejudice." Major Payne
16. "Candy bar, candy bar, I am going to get a candy bar." Little Shop of Horrors
17. "What did you shoot him with, a 38? - 38, 39 whatever it takes." Mr. Mom
18. "What hump?" Young Frankenstein
19. "Go ahead, hit the pillow, you will feel better." Analyze This
20. "I'm sailing." What about Bob
21. "May the Schwartz be with you." Spaceballs
22. "I am very sneaky." Mr. Deeds
23. "Bear, big bear, big bear, bald headed bear!" The Great Outdoors
24. Are you crying? There's no crying -- there's no crying in baseball!"? A League of Their Own
25. Why don't you call me some time when you have no class." Back to School
26. "The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!" The Jerk
27. "Did you eat a lot of paint chips when you were young?" Tommy Boy

That's it. Enjoy!

Funny movie quotes, The Sequel!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

  "Pedro will make all of your wildest dreams come true."

Posted by HelloLast week there was an official Top 100 list of movie quotes. I was kind of disappointed that there were not more quotes from movie comedies. So I decided to start my own. There are a few blogs out there that feel the same as I do, I wish I had blogmarked them so you could see them but I am lazy and did not do it. So here we go, I am not going to do a hundred, just enough to get us started and if you want, you can add to the list. These are in no particular order. And it may not be the exact quote, I am trying to do this by memory, which at my age is not the greatest.

1. "I am sorry your mom blew up, Ricky." Better Off Dead
2. "It's in the hole!" Caddyshack
3. "He slimed me." Ghostbusters
4. "I caught you a delicious bass." Napoleon Dynamite
5. "Thank you sir, may I have another?" Animal House
6. "Strange things are afoot at the Circle K." Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
7. "Sure I have heard of grits. I just actually never seen a grit before." My Cousin Vinny
8. "Whoa-ho-ho! I don't play defense." Space Jams
9. "Juuust a bit outside." Major League
10. "I'll be taken these Huggies and whatever cash you got." Raising Arizona
11. "Have fun storming the castle!" The Princess Bride
12. "That's the fact, Jack!" Stripes
13. "My mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no tooth brush." Waterboy
14. "What's happening, Hot Stuff?" Sixteen Candles
15. "Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers hug." Tommy Boy
16. "Do NOT go in there! Whoooo." Ace Ventura
17. "Surely, you can't be serious. I am serious and don't call me Shirley." Airplane
18. "Illinois Nazis....I hate Illinois Nazis." The Blues Brothers
19. "Cinderella story...outta nowhere...former greens keeper, about to become Masters Champion." Caddyshack
20. "That wasn't flying! That was falling, with style." Toy Story
21. "Parfait, everybody loves parfaits!" Shrek
22. "So, when did you get the tenament on wheels." Christmas Vacation
23. Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin away a perfectly good white boy." Better Off Dead
24. "At last! We meet for the first time for the last time." Spaceballs
25. "I'm a ghost with the most, babe." Beetlejuice
26. "Take off, eh?" Strange Brew
27. "She wrote me a 'dear-John' letter...something about me not listening enough, I don't know... I wasn't really paying attention." Dumb and Dumber
28. "Just remember the five Ds of dodgeball! Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and Dodge." Dodgeball
29. "If that is Seabass over there." Dumb and Dumber
30. "Mini Me, you complete me." Austin Powers
31. "Ain't nothing to be proud of, Rusty." Vacation
32. First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault." A Bug's Life
33. "Hey, I like the hat, man. They sell men's clothes where you got that? Footloose
34. "I wish I hadn't drunk all that cough syrup this morning." Stripes
35. "Hello, my name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The Princess Bride
36. "You got something to say. Speak into the mike, check, one, two. I have a back-up." Joe Dirt

I hope some of these brought back some funny memories.
Have a great day, Joe

"Pedro will make all of your wildest dreams come true."

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

  Family Time!

Quick note while the family is down at the pool. We started our family vacation today, we have a room at a Holiday Inn on the beach with an view of the Gulf of Mexico. Believe me, I am not rich, I travel a lot with my company so I collect priority points therefore my room is free for the week. I love it when God takes care of me and my family.
Did I mention it is my 19 anniversary today also. Not to shabby.
Yall have a great week, Joe

Family Time!

Sunday, June 12, 2005

  "Officer, I know I was speeding, but..."

Posted by HelloI have got to get me some of these! I live in Atlanta and the traffic is horrible, I think these balloons would help me with the traffic. I can see it now, people getting out of my way while I am hitting the emergency lane. With these things on my tail, no one would get angry and I am sure I wouldn't get a ticket.
Have a great day,

"Officer, I know I was speeding, but..."

Thursday, June 09, 2005

  I caught you a delicious bass.

Posted by HelloDo you like my title to this post, I took a line from the Napoleon Dynamite movie. I think it is going to be a classic line one day.

Hunter and I finally had a chance to do some fishing this weekend. What a great day! It wasn't a great day because we caught the largest largemouth bass either of us have ever had an opportunity to put into a boat. It was a great day because we got to spend some "dad and son time" together. The bass was a bonus. Check out the picture. This Is a picture of the bass we caught. We did try to put it back, like we did all the rest of the fish we caught, but it expired before we could. I look at it like this, God has supplied us with dinner for an evening. Oh yeah, check out my shirt, it is one of my favorites.

Anyhow, as Hunter and I were fishing, we never knew what we were going to catch. We would sit and wait and wonder what would be next. Would it be a crappie? Would it be a bass? Would it be a catfish? We caught 16 fish that day and it was a mix of different fish. Yes, we caught crappie, (eleven to be exact) bass, (three of them, 2 over 5 pounds) and two catfish.

As I was sitting there waiting for the next fish to take his breakfast, watching Hunter as we both enjoyed the natural wonders God had created, I started thinking. In Matthew 4:18-19, Jesus saw Simon Peter and his brother Andrew fishing in the sea: for they were fishermen. Jesus said to them, "Follow Me and I will make you fishers of men." He didn't say follow Me and I will make you fishers of white men or black men, Jewish men, men of a certain country, background or race. He said I will make you fishers of men, ALL men.

I think the reason this came to mind was because our pastor asked if we had shared Jesus with anyone this week. This month? This year? It kind of hurt my feelings because I knew what I had done for my Lord this year. But then I thought about my blog and how many people actually read this thing.

I try to keep my blog fun, interesting and God honoring. I tell people how you can be a Christian and still have fun. But I have yet to tell people how to just be a Christian. So that's what I am going to do.


Let me ask you a few questions.

1. Do you have any kind of spiritual belief?
2. To you, who is Jesus?
3. Do you believe there is a heaven and a hell?
4. If you died right now, where would you go? If heaven, why?
5. If what you believe were not true, would you want to know it?


Let me show you what the Bible says about those questions.

1. Romans 3:23 - "All have sinned."
2. Romans 6:23 - "Wages of sin is death."
3. John 3:3 - "You must be born again." Why did Jesus come to die? He came to die to be a sacrifice for our sins.
4. John 14:6 - "I am the way."
5. Romans 10:9-11 - "If you will be saved."
6. 2 Corinthians 5:15 - " Those that live should no longer live for themselves."
7. Revelations 3:20 - "I stand at the door and knock."


After reading what the Bible has to say, let me ask you a few more questions.

1. Are you a sinner?
2. Do you want forgiveness for your sins?
3. Do you believe Jesus died on the cross for you and rose again?
4. Are you willing to surrender your life to Christ? Are you ready to invite Jesus into your life and into your heart?


Heavenly Father, I have sinned against You. I want forgiveness for all my sins. I believe that Jesus died on the cross for me and rose again. Father, I give You my life to do with as You wish. I want Jesus Christ to come into my life and into my heart. This I ask in Jesus' name. Amen

(Thanks to LifeWay Press and their book Share Jesus Without Fear.)

If anyone has said this prayer please let me know by leaving a comment. If any one has any questions, please feel free to also leave a comment. I will do my best to answer them. If I can't I have plenty of friends out there in the blogger world that can help us both. If you do not want to leave a comment but would like to talk to me in private, you can email me at

Remember, don't tell God how big your storms are, tell your storms hoe big your God is.

God bless, Joe

I caught you a delicious bass.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

  If a dog were your teacher!

Posted by HelloThis is a picture of my dog when she was a puppy. Unlike my friend Jimmy, I do not try to blame everything on her like he does with his dog. I am a dog person. Do not get me wrong, I like cats, they taste like chicken. Come on folks these are the jokes. I found a little story I thought you guys would like, it doesn't matter if you are a cat or a dog person.

If a dog were your teacher

You would learn stuff like.....
*When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
*Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
*Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
*When it's in your best interest -- practice obedience.
*Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
*Take naps and stretch before rising.
*Run, romp, and play daily.
*Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
*Avoid biting, when a simple growl will do.
*On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
*On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
*When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
*No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right
back and make friends.
*Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
*Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
*Be loyal.
*Never pretend to be something you're not.
*If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
*When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Author Unknown

I hope you enjoyed the story. Have a great day.

God bless,

If a dog were your teacher!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

  This is NOT me.

Posted by HelloI told you guys in an earlier post that I could not spell very well. I just wanted to set the record straight, I am not in this picture. Besides, I always thought this word was spelled with a "K".

I will actually try to post something without a picture next time. It is just that I have been so busy lately, I have hot had time to do any normal posting. Posting a picture and saying a little something about it is so easy. Not to mention, I am just lazy. Now that I think about it, I did have some time to do a post this past weekend. It has been raining since Sunday morning and I did not have to work Monday . It was nice just to sit around and relax for a couple of days. I do not get to do it often. Plus, like I said I am lazy.

I hope everyone has a better day than these two guys are having.

God bless, Joe

This is NOT me.