Being a Christian in today's world is very hard. But do not let that scare you, anything worthwhile is worth working for. Being a Christian can be hard but it can also be fun. That is my objective, through my own stories, stories of my friends and a lot of plagiarism (Just kidding, only a little plagiarism.), I am going to show that you can be a Christian and still have fun!

the most wasted of all days is one without
laughter - e e cummings

Monday, May 09, 2005

  Guy Rules.

I am sorry, I know my last post made everyone cry, including myself, so here is one I hope will make everyone chuckle (especially the guys.)

My church co-ed softball team is always sending messages to each other about who is best, guys or gals, so I have decided to post something I found a long time ago. Please take this for what it is worth. (It's a joke people, come on!)

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Finally!! So these are OUR rules!

Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. you don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Author Unknown (I think he is in hiding.)

Have a great day,

Guy Rules.


At 12:44 PM, Blogger David Schantz said...

Someone e-mailed that to me, my wife didn't find as much humor in it as I did.

I have heard that Jim over at Thinking Right, is in the hospital, please remember him in your prayers.

God Bless America, God Save The Republic

At 1:56 PM, Blogger Bar Bar A said...

Hi Joe,

Just found your site because you posted to me (I also responded to your comment on my blog, it was an excellent insight).

ANYHOW - this guys rule thing had me in stitches, even though I am female.

I also smiled at the question mark next to your wive's age and gave you the benefit of the doubt - you DO know how old she is, you just don't want to publish it to the world. Good job.

Your blog is really interesting and I will be back for more reading! God bless you,

(aka Well Woman)

At 6:35 PM, Blogger Jot said...

I totally concur. Very well said, indeed. I have every intention of forwarding this post to my wife's e-mail address early next week. As I'll be out of town on business for most of the week, a Monday reading and Thursday return home should allow for sufficient passage of the inevitable 'retribution' impulse. I realize the danger - but this is too good not to share!

Peace, love and lots of humor...


"Women want mediocre men, and men are working hard to become as mediocre as possible."
- Margaret Mead


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