Being a Christian in today's world is very hard. But do not let that scare you, anything worthwhile is worth working for. Being a Christian can be hard but it can also be fun. That is my objective, through my own stories, stories of my friends and a lot of plagiarism (Just kidding, only a little plagiarism.), I am going to show that you can be a Christian and still have fun!

the most wasted of all days is one without
laughter - e e cummings


Monday, April 11, 2005


  Wife 1.0


Wife 1.0

To Technical Support:

Last year I upgraded from GirlFriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that
the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the
product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during
system initialization, where it monitors all other system
activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, BoysNightOut 2.5 and Saturday
Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I
cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of
my other favorite applications.

I am thinking about going back to GirlFriend 7.0, but the uninstall does
not work on this program. Can you help me, please?

Thanks, Joe

**********************************************************
Dear Joe:

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a
primary misconception. Many people upgrade from GirlFriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT
program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run
everything. It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and
still convert back to GirlFriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your
system would cause GirlFriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from
the system once installed. You cannot go back to GirlFriend 7.0 because
Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install GirlFriend
8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look
in your manual under "Warnings Alimony/Child support".

I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having
Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire
section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPF's). You must assume all
responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of
their cause. The best course of action will be to Enter the command
C:\APOLOGIZE.

In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key because ultimately you
will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will
return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame
for all the GPF's.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance. Consider buying
additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 I recommend
Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.

Do not, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3.
This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause
irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Technical Support

I did not write it, I just borrowed it.

Have fun,
Joe

Wife 1.0

5 Comments:

At 5:59 PM, Blogger Paul Yates said...

Joe, this is priceless! Keep finding this stuff, it really perks others up!

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger JOE B said...

Paul,
Thanks, only thing is, it perks everyone except my wife. lol
Joe

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger gavin richardson said...

drawing the relationship to the "operating system" brilliant.

 
At 9:04 PM, Blogger telafree said...

that is absolutely fantastic.

 
At 1:29 AM, Blogger The Light Fantastic said...

Wow, that is great. Marriage advice to a computer nerd!

 

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